We Survived a Breastfeeding Strike!
Thought I'd post up our wee story - maybe someone in a similar position might finde it interesting/useful...?
We'd had a really unsettled weekend - from Friday, I'd had a tummy bug, so dd Rowan (nearly 1) was spending all day with her dad, and only spending time with me for feeds. On top of that she was coming down with a cold, was teething, *and* was having a bit of a 'biting epsiode' - and I wasn't feeling at my most patient with that <:-(
The result was that with every feed, she was becoming more and more anxious and bitey, and I was responding more and more sternley (and was becoming anxious myself). We began to hit rock bottom when I put her on to feed, and she bit me straight away- then burst into tears befoe I could react in any way.
From that point on, she refused to feed, and cried in such a heartbroken way when offered. As you can imagine, I was absolutely broken up by this. (Didn't help that i was pre-menstrual!!) Both of us in floods of tears, not able to give, and recieve, the comfort we're used to.
Whatsmore, dd has always been a night-time feeder, and wakes to be fed - she won't go back to sleep for anything less. So dh and I were up for hours in the wee small hours, rocking her to sleep, while she bawled unhappily, and I dripped tears onto her wee face.
During the day I was starting to get worried about how much fluid she was getting, as she's never been interested in drinking from a cup, and hasn't ever had a bottle. We were giving her a cup every half hour, and eventually she was beginning to learn how to take a proper drink. Unfortunately EBM freaked her out, she was obviously confused by it not coming from me! I was trying to express loads to ensure my supply kept up, but each time I used the pump, I was getting less, and my spirits were sinking.
My lifeline was the NCT helpline, where I was given advice that helped reassure me that we'd probably get back to normal, although it really didn't feel like it. Friends and family unhelpfully told me that obviously she had decided to wean, but I knew this couldn't be right - she was so unhappy. I'd have posted here for support, but was too upset to sit and tyoe iot all out!
So I followed the NCT advice - lots and lots of close contact, without offering feeds. We had baths together, and I basically carried her around on my hip non-stop. She seemed really glad of this closeness.
After not having fed her since Saturday a.m., I was eventually able to sneak her a feed whilst she was asleep in the small hours of Monday morning. Not that long a period in the grand scheme of things, but it had felt like a lifetime - an awful, hideous, terrible one at that. So I was elated!! From then on, things gradually crept back to normality, with each feed becoming more and more realxed from the outset.
Now (Wed p.m.) everything is back as if there had never been a problem. I'm so glad I stuck with it, and kept believing (or kept listening to dh believing) that we'd sort it out. So if this happens to you, get advice, speak regularly to someone who knows their stuff, and stick it out, if you can. Hopefully, it'll all come good. But I wouldn't wish a b/feeding strike on my worst enemy!!
Anna x
Amy's nursing strike at nine and a half months
I don't know how it started, Amy started pushing me away at feeds. This was very unlike her as she usually loves bfding times. At first I thought maybe she's coming down with something, or maybe she's teething, but before I knew it 10 days had gone by with her pushing me away at every meal. Prior to this, at 9.5 months she was feeding first thing in the morning, after lunch, at 4pm, before bed at 7pm and once during the night at around 3am. Suddenly she was rejecting me at every meal, even at her dream feed she would nurse for a few minutes and as soon as the milk came through she would push me away. She used to nurse for comfort too, when she hurt herself or was upset for some reason, suddenly she was pushing me away at those times as well. Again she would nurse for a couple of minutes but as soon as the milk came through, she would push me away. Needless to say, I was very upset about this. She seemed well in every other way, eating her usual 3 meals a day, including pudding and snacks drinking water, but no milk. I was worried, I felt certain my bfding days were over, and she was self weaning. I was in tears most days and was very close to starting her up on formula.
Then I remembered the bfding support board and posted my woe's. Soon the answers came flooding in, and everyone seemed to agree, this was most likely to be a nursing strike! I read up on it and tried to think back, did I change my perfume, my diet, did I react strongly to something. I did use a different perfume just for one day (as I didn't like it) sometime around the time the strike started, I did go out a few times during that time and was in a very smoky atmosphere (I hadn't been in one prior to that), but I didn't feel either of these reasons could have caused such an abreaction. Looking back I feel the most likely cause is
this: sometime around the time she turned 8 months, Amy started pinching my arms and boobs while feeding, she did this affectionately but it still really hurt and worse still, it left bruises of finger prints on my arms and breasts, so that I was black and blue every day. I was starting to get strange looks from people assuming my husband was roughing me up. So I decided one day that I would either pull her arm away when she did this, or pull my arms away. She got very upset when I pulled her arm or my arm away, I don't know why because I thought I had pulled away gently, but obviously she was enjoying pinching me and possibly even found it comforting, like squeezing a comfort blanket.
Anyway I persisted (especially as our holiday is coming up and I didn't want to be sitting in a bikini with my arms and breasts black and blue) and she kept getting upset. Thinking back it was exactly around this time that she decided to start rejecting me. And I think that is what it was about, I rejected her "affections" so she rejected me. Well, obviously I can't be sure, but instinctively that is what I think it was. Anyway, during this whole time I didn't stop offering her feeds at the usual times, and I did not offer any formula or top ups. Other than that, I changed *nothing* at all.
It was around 2 days after I posted my worries on the board, which would have made it a full 14days of strike that she suddenly didn't push me away any more. The first feed I was so nervous, I didn't want to do anything to upset her, but it was soon quite obvious she was there to stay! Oh the relief! Things are completely back to normal again and with one added bonus - she has completely stopped pinching me!
Here's to perseverance and the great support of my fellow bfders Lee and happy nursling Amy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Here's a useful link from the Assoc of BF Mothers website: Breast Refusal